Its A Long Way To Tipperary
by FFTW Productions
Summary: World war two is a go! Roxas is evacuated and has to stay with two pysco red-heads and a herd of evil chocobo's. Demyx is trying to be an RAP warden but, failing horribly and Clouds lost in Germany. Yaoi Pairings: AkuRoku Zemyx Cleon. Rated T for now.
1. Bye Bye Larxene

**AN-PaperKettle- Hello! This is our second story together on and it's full to the brim with pairings! Ok, so in this story, the characters I'm writing are; Axel, Cloud and Demyx. This is the prologue so the other chapters will be longer and include more information and the other pairings come in /personally I can't wait for Cloud. so yeah… I'll stop blabbering now so you can read the damn thing.**

**DORKFACE – Yeppp back so soon huh? I'm sick of adding frigging words to my Microsoft Word Dictionary, piss annoying. Anyywhooo, I'm writing Roxas, Zexy and Leon /faints/. The plot bunny for this story popped out of a _history textbook_ bahaha, I'm so cool.**

**Disclaimer – _FAN FICTION, __F-A-N_ got it memorised? Yeah epic fail.**

--

Roxas sighed heavily and shoved his "regulation gas mask" into his bag. Stupid, ugly thing. What was the point in lugging it around, no one seriously believed they would be gassed so why bother? Roxas was not a happy bunny. Who would be, standing on train platform with your hyperactive, very clingy, slightly depressed younger twin brother and you're very out of character, still very sadistic weeping mother? Still fiddling agitatedly with his messenger back, Roxas focused back on the conversation his mother was having with a brick wall, because let's face it know one was listening.

"...So –sob- look after Sora –sniff- and don't for get to write and, if I don't reply don't worry, I'll be okay. I'll probably be too busy with all work I'm doing for the ATS." Larxene managed to choke out.

"Okay mum. We'll be fine." Roxas patted his mother on the back. It was really strange to see his mother like this. She _never_ showed weakness, _ever_. It was really scary. He was brought back to earth from his pondering to hear his headmaster's voice ringing out over the platform.

"Over 14's this way, get your arse's into gear." Roxas had to chuckle. Trust Mr Luxord to try to lighten up the mood.

"Okay boys. Time to go. I'll keep you posted on what Clouds up to. Don't worry and TRY TO KEEP TOGETHER YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE BROTHERS LIKE." Larxene had to shout the last bit to be heard over the hustle and bustle. She sniffed and wiped her eyes as she watched her two youngest sons be herded onto the train.

Roxas held onto his brothers shaking hand as he led the way into a compartment. It was occupied by some kids from their class. He led Sora to the seat by the window. As the train pulled away from the station Roxas held his sobbing brother quietly and gazed out of the window until he could no longer see the grimy windows of London. He looked away from the window a buried his nose into slightly greasy cinnamon locks.

--

Axel stood with his hands on his _manly_ hips, pouting. Now, it may not seem a very Axel thing - to pout - but hell he thought he had every reason to be doing so. And he thought he could pull it off but lets not destroy his useless dreams now.

Anyway.

Axel was pouting. And after he realised his pouting would not work, the redheaded pyro resorted to glaring. He narrowed his acid green eyes and leant forwards to emphasise his deadly glare or doom.

Fifty multicoloured chocobo's glared back.

After stomping repeatedly like a toddler, Axel pointed a finger at the annoying birds.

"Look guys, I let you out of your pen for an hours exercise. How long has it been? THREE HOURS. Now you little shits need to get _back into your pens_ before some _goddamn feathers GET RUFFLED._ Do you hear me you sons' of-"

He was cut off from his rampage by uncontrollable laughter from behind. Axel slowly turned to face his older brother, who was currently trying not to fall over and failing badly.

"Y-y-your f-face, yo!" He choked out, "Awww, my little brother can't h-handle a couple of b-birds!" This announcement came with free cooing noises. Axel spun to fully face Reno now, scowling.

"Oh yeah?! Like you're any better at it, you jerk! I'd like to see you try and get them back into their pens! Their EVIL I tell you. E. V. I. L." Reno had managed to pull himself together and to his feet as his little brother ranted and was now coolly surveying the chocobos (of doom).

"Calm down Ax. I sure with both our help we'll be able to get the bastards back into their pens in no time… We'll be late to go pick up our brat though." He added the last part as an afterthought, stroking his chin. Axel frowned in confusion,

"'Our brat'? What are you talking about?" Reno stared at him blankly.

"Axel… do you remember anything I ever tell you?"

"…Yes?" '_Hey it can't hurt to try.'_ Reno glared. _'Oh well.' _

"The evacuation's today, idiot. Since we got the room an' that, we got to home some random kid. And now because you couldn't handle a few birds, we're gonna be left with the scraps. I didn't WANT scraps Axel. I blame YOU, yo." _A kid, huh? Well they could use an extra pair of hands. Dear god he hoped it wouldn't have to be a girl, she'd be useless on the farm they owned._ As the brother's began herding their unruly flock, Axel occupied his thoughts with who would be coming to live with them. He smiled.


	2. Stalker!

**AN –**

DORKFACE – Dear lord. Guys I'm sooooo sorry for this being so late!! I totally hit a stump with the Zexion bit. But It's done now. Phew. Hope its not horrible.

**PaperKettle- Oh god she finally got it done. How longs it been? Anyway, not the point, the **_**point is **_**I'm in love with this stories Cleon. Seriously, expect bloody amazing things to come of it since I'm just IN LOVE WITH IT. Seriously. WANT ITS BABIES. /cough/ Yeahh, I'll shut up now!**

**Disclaimer – We don't own. If we did Orgy XIII would stay Orgy XIII!! Right Amy?**

**Dedication - right I'm (DorkFace) dedicating this chapter to XFamousXLastXWordsX because she helped me with the army rankings.**

* * *

Cloud jumped down from the back of the green truck, looking around in barely contained excitement. The training facilities here were said to be the best of the country after all.

"All right you lazy sods, get in line, get in line - there's someone you have to meet!" A loud voice boomed over the chatter of the men. Cloud was shoved in line with the rest of them.

A blond man with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and goggles atop his head grinned at them all with the look of a cat with a bird in its grasp.

"The name's Cid and you'll do right to remember it. I'm in charge of this here fine establishment and the guy who's going to be kicking your arses into shape." He nodded his head to the side. An attractive young man stood there, about the same age as Cloud, with raven colored hair that spiked backwards and a scar on his chin. "That's Zack. He's the solider who'll be joining your ranks and making sure you don't kill yourselves. I'd be nice to him if I were you."

Zack grinned, "Nice to meet you all. Now let's get you to where you're going to have to stay for a little while."

Cloud had to admit, so far he was glad he joined the army. The guys seemed to all be bigger then him but he that didn't mean they were scary (except maybe that guy with long black hair and a red trench coat at the end of the row, he was just…staring at nothing). He followed the rest of his platoon into a large room with camp beds along the two opposite walls and claimed the one closest to the door.

Mr. Trench coat glided -_yeah weird- _to the one beside him.

_Ah shit._ Cloud thought, _I wanted to be beside someone less… eerie. _He mentally shrugged and tried to tune into what Zack was talking animatedly about but found he was too jittery to pay attention. His thoughts wandered off to his family. He hoped that his brothers would find good homes in the countryside and prayed for Larxene's safety. He held back a smile at the thought of his mother. She had laughed so hard when he had first told her he was joining the army, saying it was inevitable that he would, being the 'horny queer' he was and wanting to be surrounded by 'hot sweaty men' all the time. Cloud was fine with his mother description of him, it _was_ true that he was gay, but as far as he knew, he was _that_ horny. And it wasn't the reason he joined up._ Really_.

Cloud was so far gone he didn't notice that Zack had stopped talking until he heard people moving around and two giant blue eyes where centimeters from his own.

"Yooouu-hoooo. Anybody hooome?" The blond jumped and he felt his face heating up. Zack grinned, "Hey Spike, welcome back. Thought you left the land of the living for a minute there."

_Spike?_ "S-sorry sir. Thinking." The taller man lent back to give Cloud breathing space again.

"Thinking? Spike, I can't really tell you right now if a brain is what you need to be a solider. Ah well. What's you name then?" He plopped down onto the blonds' bed and leant back on his hands.

"Strife. Cloud Strife." Zack smirked, and gave him a mock salute.

"Fair. Zack Fair. C'mon Cloud, you can loosen up around me. I might be a tad more experienced-" _'A tad' my arse. Have you seen how ripped you are? Bloody hell._ "-but we're in the same platoon now. Brother's in arms an' all that."

Cloud smiled. He liked this guy already.

A few minutes later, Cloud had unpacked his few belongings and was listening to Zack ramble on about whatever seemed to pop into his head, when Cid burst through the door.

"Alright! We weren't planning on doing this today but seein' as we got some unexpected company, you lucky lads will be running the assault course. Sucks for you, I guess. Anyway, get your arse's out here now, you too Zack!"

And then he was gone again.

Cloud grinned. He would have been doing a little jig of excitement if it weren't for the fact such a thing was _defiantly_ not manly and he was in the _army_. He had picked up a few things from Sora, it seemed. Cloud dutifully followed Zack and the rest after Cid, towards a large field.

A group of people stood a few meters away from where they stopped, Cid among them. Zack turned to look at them all.

"Ok. This is kind of sudden but you can't slack off on this, first day or not, these guys just sprung a surprise inspection on us so… good luck" He gave them a cheery thumbs up and ordered the to line up side by side.

The group was heading towards them now, Cloud had to try hard not to stare and instead looked straight forwards. He was at the opposite end of the line to where they were, next to the creepy guy (whose name he had learnt was Vincent and who was actually surprisingly hot under that huge collar) so he decided it would be safe to sneak a peek. Nervously, he leant forwards slightly.

The first guy he saw had long black hair pulled back into a long ponytail and had definitely seen his fair share of battles if the giant scar on his cheek and eye patch were anything to go on. He also had a shot gun in his hand and was waving it in front of some poor sap and grinning like a madman. The guy behind him not-so-subtly kicked the back of his knees.

The kicker was innocently ignoring his action. He had shockingly blue hair and an 'X' shaped scar on the bridge of his nose. The blue-haired man was eyeing them up like fresh meat and Cloud was glad the tanned silver-haired man next to him leant over to whisper in his ear before those bright yellow eyes had reached him. It seemed they all had a thing for long hair.

Cloud's eyes moved over to the final man and he froze. _Fucking hell_.

He was an inch or two taller than Cloud, with chocolate brown hair that rested on his shoulders and a slash-like scar running across the bridge of his nose. From where he was standing, Cloud couldn't' properly see the brunets eyes as they roamed over every inch of each solider. The man walked slowly down the line and Cloud snapped his eyes to face forwards again as he came close to him.

He could feel nervousness bubbling up inside and swallowed a lump in his throat. The man was bloody gorgeous and was now only two people away from him.

The blond couldn't tell if he wanted the man to hurry his hot arse up and get to him already or if he wanted to turn tail and run as fast and far as he could before being shot down by that guy with the madman grin.

The brunet had just finished checking ou- _inspecting_ Vincent and was about to turn to him. Now was the moment of truth. Cloud clasped his hands into fists to stop them shaking too badly and made his decision, he put on his best indifferent expression and straightened slightly…  
Then his eyes caught with the other mans and he found himself drowning in the most beautiful stormy grey eyes he had ever seen. To make it worse, he was pretty sure all the blood in his body was now only going to two places. One was his face. The other was slightly more problematic.

* * *

Leon was bored. Where was the fun in moving blocks of wood around a map? Could someone please point out the excitement!? He almost wished it was his first day, meeting your platoon getting your uniform, but then again… obstacle course, Leon shuddered at the thought. Well it was always fun watching hot sweaty guys – wait no. Not thinking them thoughts. Leon was not a pervert! … okay maybe a little but, who isn't?

"So General Leonheart, what's your verdict?" Er… what? OH! Wooden blocks… maps… plan… war. Got it! Xemnas raised an eyebrow at the brunette waiting for an answer.

"Well, sir. I agree with Saix sir!" Haha! Good move Leonheart agree with the suck up, always works. Xemnas nodded.

"Very well gentlemen, shall we go and welcome the new meat?" Collective groans could be heard from all sides of the room. Inspections. Hell for the regular middle aged man with properly controlled hormones and perfectly straight mindsets – of course minus the Sergeant and his _puppy_.  
About two and a half minutes later the group of surprisingly hairy generals made their way towards the line of new recruits. Leon took it upon himself to start the inspection. Looking every single man up and down, it amused him to see how they reacted under his cold glare.

'_Interesting bunch aren't they. One guy has super long hair, and this guy has… wow!'_ This guy had golden hair and big blue eyes. Talk about Aryan! If he was German and Hitler liked men, he'd defiantly be his bitch! Maybe he'd be Leon's bitch instead… wait! No screwing the new recruits Leonheart! Bad Squally!

Moving on. This guy was attractive he had to hand him that. But to be honest Leon despite his fluffy, hormonal interior, he was a tough ole cookie and, wasn't one to go around fancying people when as soon as he'd met them.

He finished up the inspection and deemed all of the recruits worthy of the platoon. Now on to the best part of the day, _obstacle course._

* * *

The road into town was quiet. A lone man walked its path, his slate coloured hair shining in the midday sun as he made his way into the centre of the village. A dark figure followed close behind, scurrying from hiding place to hiding place to avoid being spotted. The man glanced back a few times, but appeared to see nothing.

Of course he saw nothing. Demyx was a master stalker with ninja capabilities! _No-one _could see him! He quickly ran across the street to a random alley and watched his crush continue onwards.

"Zexion…" God he even loved his name. Zex… Zexy… Sexy Zexy. The possibilities were endless!

Demyx had been following Zexion for some time now; he knew his daily routine and guessed the older male was heading to the bakery. Oh how he wished to be walking along side him, holding his hand and making him laugh… Come to think of it, he never had heard the other laugh; Demyx bet it was the most musical sound in the world.

Snapping out of his daze, the mullet-ed man watched from across the street as Zexion entered the bakery, making the little bell above the door jingle. He let his head fall back and hit the wall behind him, still keeping an eye on the shop.

Demyx hated doing what he was doing. He felt like such a stalker that it made his skin go cold. But he couldn't help it; there was no way someone like _Zexy_ could like a dumb RAP Warden like him. Zexion was smart, sophisticated and nice in his own way. So all Dem could do was speed through his Warden duties and rush off to see (stalk) the other man, wishing that _he_ was the one making small talk in the bakery, not that silver-haired jerk _Riku_.

Glaring half-heartedly at the silverette he hurried across the street, leaning against the window and trying to look like he hadn't a care in the world, war be damned.

Less than a minute later, the bell jingled again and Dem jumped up in fake surprise, "Zexion! What a coincidence it is to see you here, at the bakery! Gee life sure does work in mysterious ways." He let out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, trying not to look the other in the eye.

* * *

It didn't surprise Zexion, when he saw a shadow lurking in the corner of his eye. In fact, if it were an appropriate situation, Zexion would have smiled. But no, there was nothing to smile about. Demyx was only following him to plot some other way to humiliate the slate haired man. And to be honest he was sick of it!

It wouldn't have been so bad if he weren't idiot enough to fall for the stupid stalking brat.

Zexion sighed; he had never felt like this before, there was just something about the blonde that made his heart melt. He yearned to hold Demyx even just for a moment, just one moment that he would remember for the rest of his life.

Zexion sighed in relief when he looked up the see the village bakery merely ten steps away. You could guaranty that within five seconds the slate haired man would be surrounded by the warmth and the oh so addictive smell of fresh bread.

"Hey Zexion." Riku the local baker greeted him, not even having to look up to be able to tell it was him.

"Riku," Zexion replied with an abrupt nod of his head.

"Err, Zex you do realise he's following you again right?" the silver haired man questioned with a sudden interest.

"Yes I was aware of that fact, thank you Riku." Zexion muttered in annoyance, at most of the world. Especially a certain dirty haired blonde boy. Who was currently scurrying across the street like a squirrel across a garden path, oh how he wished he knew what squirrel boy was thinking.

"So what will it be, the usual?" Riku interrupted Zexion's inner turmoil.

"Yes a loaf of bread and some small buns please."

Whilst Riku pottered round the shop collecting, Zexion peered through the small window once more. He got lost in his thoughts as he pondered his situation involving the blonde man.  
Once the silverette had given him his purchases and stamped his ration book Zexion left the shop, casually stepping out of the door.

"Zexion! What a coincidence it is to see you here, at the bakery! Gee life sure does work in mysterious ways." He barely noticed the nerves in Demyx's voice, but alas he did. This just made the slate haired man even more confused than he had been.

* * *

Roxas and Sora where sat in a room with yellowing walls and moth eaten curtains. The room was cold, colder than those in the city. Was it going to be this cold for the duration of their stay here? Roxas didn't think he could cope with constantly being this cold. Sora felt it too. He could tell, the brunette hadn't said much at all since they left London. But Roxas wasn't stupid, he knew his twin inside out and he was sure to go back to being normal happy preppy Sora any minute now.

"Hey Roxy, did you see the sheep on the way here? They were all spotty and funny looking like horses! They are sheep right. 'Cause mum said there was a hell of a lot of sheep in Wales. We are in Wales right Roxy?!"

"Yes Sora we're in Wales. No there cows not sheep. As in moo not baah."

"Oooh, you always know everything Roxy!"

"Sure I do, So."

Then the big double doors at the end of the room opened up and Luxord strode in like he owned the place. Following their teacher were family's they'd never seen before, some looked strict and mean whilst others kind but firm. Roxas gulped, he had a feeling this wouldn't turn out so good.

* * *

R&R Pleaseee :)


	3. Damn Gerry's!

AN's

_DorkFace_ _Zomg. Finally I'm sooooo sorry for the lateness, my entire fault blame me! Anyway I really enjoyed writing Roxas' bit in this :D  
__  
_**PaperKettle ****I blame her to. FAIL. Enjoy...**

Disclaimer – We don't own anything for if we did there would be significantly more screen time for Luxord.

* * *

Axel felt like he was on fire, and was extremely pissed off about it. This was saying something really, because the redheaded pryo had an affinity for flames and was naturally (hey, it was natural in _his _mind thank you very much) obsessed with never _ever_ getting cold EVER. So burning up should be good. It meant fire must be involved.

Unfortunately, as much as he wished this were true, unless Axel whipped out a lighter right now and torched something, his beloved flames were none-existent.

…Although Reno's impossibly long ponytail _did_ look like a fuse, the way it whipped and flowed in the wind like a ribbon of red a few feet ahead of his little brother…

Axel stopped himself as he reached for his pocket. No. The last time he had attempted such a feat, Reno had chased him around the whole town, screaming bloody murder and vividly describing all the ways he would maim the 5-year-old boy.

What could he say? He started his hobbies early on in life.

Anyway, back to the task at hand. The reason Axel was burning up and not enjoying it was because he was running, really, really fast; and after a truck too.

Reno had decided that since it was Axel's fault they were going to get the 'runt of the litter', naturally he needed some form of punishment, and in this case being the fact he wasn't allowed in the car.

_Naturally._

"You son-of-a-retard. Slow down!" Axel roared. He was hot, and sweaty and looked like he had just had some mind-blowing sex but _no,_ he was chasing his hysterical brother through town.

He still pulled the look off though, obviously.

Axel made one last effort to snag his flailing hand on the back of the truck and let out a wail of glee when he felt flesh connect to metal. Bingo. Axel felt a surge of adrenaline and heaved himself awkwardly over the metal and into the back of the truck. He smirked when he heard Reno whine in disappointment and settled down for the short ride to the town hall.

Not a minute later, the brother's pulled up outside the large building. A few people were mingling around outside so Axel figured the rest of the town were either inside or had left.

They both circled the truck so they were facing the large building. "So… do we just go in and grab one or what?" Reno raised an eyebrow in question at his brother. Axel just shrugged and started towards the open doors, hearing Reno follow behind.

Before they could reach the doors two others came out, laughing at something. At spotting the newcomers, Axel grinned and came to a halt. "Hey, Ren, you go on ahead. I won't be a minute." Reno gave him a pouty look but waved it off and disappeared into the town hall.

"Riku!" The silver haired boy looked up at Axel's yell and smirked. He put a hand on the brunet's back beside him and steered the kid over to Axel so they were standing in front of him. "I didn't know you were getting yourself a City Kid."

Riku was sort of like Axel's best friend (along with the dumbass Warden), and son of the town baker. The redhead had managed to forge a weird relationship with the arrogant silverette that all started when Riku hadn't brought enough of their bread on a delivery and Axel had a bitch fit. Fun times.

The brunet standing beside Riku looked up at Axel with innocent blue eyes and a giant grin. "Who are you, mister?"

Axel took in the kid's crazy spiked hair and rounded face that made him look younger than he probably was, smirking. "Axel. And you are…?"

"My name's Sora Strife and I'll be going to live in a bakery! Do you know what a bakery is? They make bread and cakes! I didn't know Wales had bakeries like us, isn't that weird? Oh hey, speaking of Wales, did you know they have sheep here? I know what sheep look like now! They're black and white but my brother says they aren't and he mooed and-" Oh my GOD it wouldn't shut up.

Axel glanced at Riku to see if this was as painful for the younger as it was for him, expecting a glare or scowl. He started choking on air at the soft _kind _look of pure amusement on the boy's face.

"-OH MY GOD YOU'RE CHOKING ARE YOU OK?" Axel snapped back to Sora's face with a forced smile.

"Oh I'm spiffy, kid." - The devil opened it's mouth – "Oh HEY! 'Y knows, as much as I'd love to continue our little chat, I really should go help my brother pick us up a City Kid. We can't have him picking up any old thing can we?" The redhead laughed awkwardly. _Please dear lord let me go, Satan's spawn has descended upon us. Never mind Hitler, this kid makes me want to hit things._ _At least Hitler knows when to shut the fuck up… probably. I wouldn't know since- Argh, off subject. I don't like this child._

"Well, nice meeting you Sora Strike-"

"Strife..."

"Whatever. I've got to go now. Riku…" Axel looked at his friend's expression and smirked again, "… don't do anything I wouldn't do." Aqua eyes snapped to him in a glare.

With a mock salute, the redhead hauled his arse out of there. God that was weird, Riku was normally so… bastard-y. What did Sora do to him? As far as he knew, Riku was going to treat his City Kid as a slave in the bakery so he could slack off, but somehow he couldn't picture Riku trusting the walking nightmare alone. If they got a twit like that one he was going to _burn_ things. If there was one thing Axel hated it were people who didn't pull their weight. Not including himself of course, since he was bloody amazing – just others.

During his contemplating, the farmer had somehow managed to navigate himself into the town hall and to the large room holding what he assumed to be City Kids. A quick scan and he found his brother, who was predictably not looking at the remaining children.

Axel sighed as he watched the idiot try to sweet talk the town mayor. He seriously couldn't see why Reno bothered; the cold stoic blond barely battered an eyelash at his 'witty' pick up lines. He did catch the occasional smirk, but they were defiantly few and far between.

Axel made a promise to himself a while ago to never become infatuated (since love was such a strong word for Reno) like his brother. Blond haired, blue eyed, arrogant, cold and bitchy wasn't exactly his type anyway. Not that Axel really _had_ a type, but that's not the point.

Axel started towards Reno to remind him of the reason for them being there when he felt someone's gaze on him. He had felt it since walking in but dismissed it since he always _did_ attract attention, he was just a damn sexy man if he may say so himself – but this was different. He stopped mid stride and turned to look at the lined up children (some where barely children, but still), venom-green eyes scanning them for the culprit.

It was at the far end he saw him. He dimly noticed blond hair sweeping up in an orderly mess to one side of the kid's head, but he was too busy staring into the other's eyes to pay to much attention.

Bright blue, like the Sora kid. Only these weren't innocent, or at least, not as much as the hyper brunet. Where Sora's eyes were filled with joy and warmth and a whole lot of other cuddly adjectives, these eyes were cold and hard. There was something in them though, and Axel couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was like the coldness was a façade, and he could barely see the boy's hidden… something. _God Axe, are you on drugs? Oh now your talking to yourself in third person too! Great, just fabulous…_

The piercing gaze was staring straight at him, and Axel found himself not wanting to look away from their depths.

He wasn't sure if it was a minute or several, but eventually the redheaded man got a hold on himself and tore his eyes away from the ones across the room.

Mentally shaking himself, Axel completed his journey to his brother and (was he _blushing?!_) the mayor. Tapping the smirking redhead, Axel's face morphed into a matching expression;

"I think I found an interesting one."

* * *

One moment he was sitting on the floor of the town hall, pouting because his brother had decided to leave him, the next thing he knew, he was in the back of a pickup truck; still pouting mind you.

Two crazy looking clowns - like the ones he and Sora had seen a few years ago at the travelling circus in Cornwall – had all but thrown him into the truck. He hadn't even said goodbye to his friends... oh wait he didn't have any. Shame that.

The two "_clowns"_ previously mentioned were both lanky buggers with shocking red hair and bright "..._ever so bright"_ emerald and deep sea blue eyes. At first Roxas thought the shortest was a walking scarecrow, funny looking enough and was wearing clothes that wouldn't look out of place on a hobo. The other looked like some sort of loo brush. They were the sort of fellows his mother would just love.

Roxas – now situated in the back of the truck – sat quietly listening to the redheads argue over chocobo's – whatever the hell they were – wondering what he had ever done that was so bad to end up in the back of a rusty old truck in the middle of nowhere with two crazy people who hadn't even told him their names yet.

"Shut the fuck up Reno!"Ah so the hobo was called Reno – unless loo brush boy was talking to himself...

"Whatever you want Axel." Sighed hobo. Okay he had it now. The tall one was Axel, and the slightly smaller possibly older one was Reno.

"Excuse me... but can you tell me where the bloody hell we are going? I'm miles away from my mum, I've just been separated from my brother by some freak with grey hair and now I'm in the back of a truck with two random people whom I have never met before, in a place I've never seen before and quite frankly I'm a little concerned for my health right now." Wow complaining sure took a lot out of the little blonde. His face had gone a little red, and his breath was short.

Both redheads turned around to stare at him as though they hadn't known he was there. Roxas, to say the least, felt a little embarrassed at his outburst.

"Wow, the kid speaks, who knew. So what's ya name Blondie?" _'Ha. Like I've never heard that one before.'_

"Roxas Strife..."

"... Oh like the Sora kid..." Was it him or did Axel sound a little sceptical now...

"Er yeah I guess, he's my twin brother." Roxas stated with an uneasy smile.

"Oh, yuck, please tell me you're nothing like him... at all." Replied the redhead hopefully. Almost too hopefully.

"Er, not really."

"Thank the good lord." Axel raised his hands to the sky, _'This guy just got a little creepier.'_

Ten or so minutes later found the two redheads and their new blonde counterpart pulling up outside a rather small looking farmhouse. Naturally, the windows were covered with blackout paper so Roxas couldn't see inside just yet but the outside was beautiful.

The farmhouse was a quaint cottage with a large garden that disappeared round the side, filled to the brim with flowers of all sizes. The cottage itself was two stories with a neatly thatched roof. Roxas couldn't imagine either redhead spending hour after hour taking care of this place. _'I guess looks can be deceiving.' _

Once inside the cottage the amazing walking talking loo brush showed the blonde to a small room with one single bed and a small fireplace.

"This kid, is where you will be spending the next god knows how many years! The chamber pot is in the wardrobe, but if you really can't stand taking a dump in a pot the actual toilet is near the paddock, which I will show you later. Lights out at ten, and if you want a bath you'll have to heat up the water over the kitchen stove, okay? I'll leave you to unpack your shit. Oh and kid try not to wet the bed 'cause I am not washing pee stained sheets." The redhead then turned on his heel and strode from the room leaving the small blonde rather angry that he had been accused of being a bed wetter. He was fifteen for crying out loud!

The blonde spun around and slammed his case and the flimsy box containing his gas mask on to the bed.

"Why couldn't I have just stayed in London? I can look after myself I don't need some lousy farmers pretending they care about me!" Roxas muttered to himself.

"Yano talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." Roxas glared at the wall, why couldn't they both leave him the fuck alone!

"What do you want?" Roxas turned around and fixed his glare at the offending redhead.

"Hey kid. I pay for your food, be nice would ya. Don't listen to Ax, he's a twat at the best of times, but alas were stuck with him." Sighed Reno dramatically. Roxas raised an eye brow at this why was he being told this.

"Um, okay?"

"Hey kid... why don't I introduce you to Betty! You'll like her."

"Who's Betty?" Roxas was now even more confused, great now he had a headache.

"You'll see. Now come on Blondie I haven't got all day."

* * *

Leon stood stock still watching the trainee's get kitted up for the obstacle course. His eyes automatically drifted to a head of gravity defying blonde hair. Was it him or was there an obscene amount of rose petals in the vicinity?

"So General Leonheart, what are your plans for this _evening_?" whispered Xigbar suddenly. The man must have thought he was being seductive. Leon could safely say that plan just blew up in the Commanders face.

"Not to be rude _Commander_ but whatever my plans will be they will never include you on a more than professional basis, and if you so much as toe the line I will not hesitate to kick your sorry middle aged backside into next week. Got that?" Xigbar gulped, always a good sign.

"Now if you'll excuse me..." Leon strode away with his pride and his arse virginity intact – this was one General that definitely didn't bottom, **ever**. Some may be shocked to find that there was homosexuality in the ranks of the Great British Army. To these people Leon would flip the bird, because seriously living so long with only men for company, what did they think they did? Find a secluded corner pull down their pants and think of Queen and country, fat chance buddy that was never going to happen.

Continuing his striding Leon proceeded to travel closer to the recruits as they were lining up to begin. By the time Leon had stilled Cid had already shouted his orders and the troops were off.

All the time they were running in and out of tyres and through barbed wired fencing the brunette could not take his eyes off of the blonde man whom had somehow captured his attention unlike any other man on the field.

The blonde seemed to be in his element, which made him all the more beautiful in Leon's eyes. By this time - as you can imagine - Leon was freaking himself out. He, the Great General Leonheart, was not supposed to be all... all sappy! No that simply was not how things were done- but he couldn't help it. Damn that gorgeous blonde to hell. He blamed the Gerry's – the stress they had caused to the brunette was immense it was no wonder Leon had gone a little mad.

He continued to watch the blonde. He was calm for once just watching. Not arguing with himself – peace in a time of war, how unoriginal could he get?

Returning from his inner musings Leon realised he had stopped looking at the blonde in favour of the ground. Snapping his head back up in desperate search of the man, his eyes finally rested on him struggling to dismount one of the obstacles. Leon didn't care much for which one it was, he could only stare point blank at the expression of panic on the blonde angels face, coming to the conclusion that he never wanted to see it there ever again.

It was then Leon noticed Lieutenant Fair. The raven haired man had gotten hold of his angel's waist and was helping him clamber out of the trap he was currently in. But the worst was the gorgeous blonde was blushing, and it was directed nowhere near the brunette. Needless to say this made Leon's blood boil with rage.

_'Wait rain check – I'm jealous?' _Thought Leon, stunned.

_'Damn Gerry's!'  


* * *

_Demyx ducked down behind the shrubbery with a squeak.

He crawled on his hands and knees along the hedge, searching for a gap in the leaves. Zexion had just come out of his house and the blond had barely had enough time to hide before the other looked in his direction.

He hadn't seen him had he?

…Nah. If he had, he would've yelled, right? Right. With this in mind, the blond carefully parted some leaves and peered through.

At this time of day, on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays, Zexion leaves the house without fail. Demyx has tried following him before, but the slate-haired man disappears! Seriously, gone off the face of the earth. The first time it happened, the warden almost broke down. For all he knew, the Nazi's had taken him! They could have kidnapped him for his intelligence or something. Zexy was a genius after all.

Said genius shot the place Dem had vanished from a suspicious look as he walked down his garden path. Ok, maybe he _had_ noticed. But… he could think he's seeing things! Yeah…

How can he see past all that hair anyways…?

Demyx shook his head wildly to clear it. The short man had gone off down the road now, so it was safe to move. The blond shot up from his crouch position, clumsily clambering over the poor bush. He had a plan. It was a good plan.

Sea-green eyes surveyed the house and their owner tapped his chin as he considered his bloody brilliant plan. All he had to do is rip off all Zexy's blackout paper. He rips off the paper; he has a valid reason to _talk_ to his crush. Simple.

Demyx set to work, deciding last minute to be careful so he wasn't wasting valuable paper. He quickly rolled up each piece of black card, trying not to rip any of it. A few people walking past gave him weird looks, but they knew by now not to question the bipolar blond, they couldn't follow his explanations or his train of thought. Silly people.

Zexion didn't have many windows, so it wasn't long before the task was completed. The musician grinned at his handiwork; rolls safely tucked under one arm. Zexion was _so_ going to thank him for this!

Well… no he won't, but he won't know it was _Demyx_ that stole it. "After I help him put up some new paper, he's _sure_ to thank me!" The blond sang, spinning around. And that's all he wanted, to be honest. If he couldn't be with the other male, friendship is all he would ask for. Friendship starts with conversation. Which is why he thought up his plan in the first place.

The RAP warden grinned as he traversed the streets with a bounce in his step. Now all he had to do was hide all this paper. He'll just happen to be walking by when Zexion returns and BAM – instant friendship!

Demyx stopped mid-bounce and tried to think about what to say to the slate-haired man. He had to think if there were any holes in his plan… all good planners have to look for holes – or at least, that's what Axel said.

Zexion won't find the paper if he hides it in his house. He'll have no idea who took it, since he's not the type to go around asking people if they've seen any blackout-paper thieves in the area (thank god). His friendly neighbourhood warden will offer to help him put up some more paper and catch the fiend behind it. While helping put up the card, Zexion will realise what a reliable and good-friend-material kind of guy he was.

Nope. No holes.

He started his journey once again, humming a random tune as he went. Not five minutes later, the blond was back at his house. After fumbling to find his keys for a minute, he finally managed to unlock the door and stumble in. He debated on where to put his stash, roaming each room of his house for somewhere no one would look. In the end, the blond just shoved it into his closet, since there was no way anything was coming out of _his_ closet anytime soon.

Demyx grimaced at his terrible joke. He frolicked down his staircase and into the kitchen to grab a snack. Then he remembered the damned war. He _had _no snacks. The blond was about to fall to his knees in dramatic anguish, but before he could, the clock caught his eye.

"That late _already!?_" Demyx cried. Time had flown by; Zexion would be home in a few measly minutes! The RAP warden raced back through his house to the front door, grabbing his keys by mere chance on the way. Dem leapt across his lawn and over the small wall bordering his property, stopping for none of the curious bystanders.

He made it to Zexion's street in record time, slowing to a stop just out of view of the slate-haired man's home. Demyx took a moment to regain his breath, bending over with his hands on his knees, gulping in oxygen with a vengeance. Once he was pretty sure he could breath without looking like an idiot, Demyx rounded the corner and started to stroll.

_Ok, ok, ok I just have to act. Be surprised, and kindly and… helpful and stuff! Nice warm smile Demy, that's right, smile! Ok start a hum, look absentminded... NO, NO_ _DON'T SEARCH FOR HIM TILL YOU GET THERE. Ok, good. Spring in your step, hands in your pockets, don-_

"Excuse me." Demyx snapped out of his inner-musings at the velvet cool voice. The warden turned his attention to the other male, grinning nervously.

"Oh hey Zexion! What can I do for you?"

* * *

Finally, _finally_ the assault course was over. Cloud's breath was coming in short pants and he was clutching his side where a stitch was making itself known. He was caked from head to foot in mud. It was starting to dry and go crusty and horrible, making the blond cringe.

The troops had all been lined up and were lectured at for a good few minutes, but Cloud couldn't really concentrate in his haggard state. Finally, Zack ordered for all the men to get cleaned up in the showers, pointing vaguely in their direction before turning to say a brief word to Cid.

Cloud swallowed a lump in his throat as he followed the others dutifully towards the building. The showers were no doubt communal. The blond did _not_ want to be showering with all these guys. It was just so… impersonal.

And he was so scrawny. It was embarrassing! Larxene was always going on about how tiny he was. 'Like a girl' she said. 'I feel like I've got three bloody daughters, there's no _real_ men around my house. You load of fags.'

His mother was so articulate with her words.

That is why, as soon as the worn out troops started filing their way through the buildings to get to the showers, Cloud quickly ducked out and hid behind the nearest plant. Not a very original hiding place, but he wasn't being too picky.

Vincent caught the blondes' eye as he walked by, making him tense up in embarrassment, but the man said nothing and glided away with the hint of a smile on his face.

Cloud released the breath he hadn't known he was holding as he relaxed. You know, he had a feeling he might actually become good friends with this Vincent fellow. The guy knew when not to ask questions. The blond couldn't be sure how long he stayed in his hiding place for, but soon the sound of running water echoed down the hallway.

As he leaned back against the wall, Cloud couldn't help but let his mind wander. He thought about home, his mother must be lonely, although she would never admit to it with her strong will. He hoped with all his heart that she wouldn't be injured while all her sons were away. He doubted it though, because that woman was the most stubborn person he had ever met. Besides, Yuffie had promised to look out for her and god only knows that idiot would probably be setting up surveillance right now.

Cloud chuckled as the thought of his hyper friend dressed as a bush, sneaking closer and closer to their house popped randomly into his head.

It wasn't long after that cadets started to mill out of the showers. The bright red blond made a point to avoid looking at the half naked young men with only towels to protect their dignity. He only glanced up when a flash of red caught his attention and a fully dressed Vincent walked by. How did he manage that? The only proof the raven-haired man had even been in the shower was his still wet hair.

Vincent raised a questioning eyebrow at him as he glided by but Cloud just shook his head with a small smile. Finally, the still dirty blond decided it was safe to venture out from behind his potted plant. He walked briskly down the deserted hallway and after a bit of searching, managed to find the right room.

The showers were actually pretty clean - considering how he had been picturing them - probably only because of all the water and soap that must get splashed around everywhere. The room was shaped like an upside down L, with a cupboard set into the wall on his left. Cloud quickly went over to the cupboard and found it had towels and things for soldiers to wash themselves with in it.

He grabbed a towel and pulled a face at the packets of shampoo. If Sora had seen the generic brands and the fact that he would have to go without conditioning, the brunet would scream. Cloud however, had expected this much and it didn't really bother him. He grabbed a random packet and walked around the corner to have some kind of weird privacy.

He striped out of his dirty clothes and dumped them out of the water's range. That was possibly the last time he would be wearing his own clothes. The blond felt giddy at the thought of wearing the British uniform, it would be like making it official! Officer C. Strife. He liked the sound of that.

With a small smile, Cloud switched on one of the showerheads and started to rid himself of all the dried dirt and muck. He lost himself in the freezing water, starting to hum a tune that sounded like an altered version of the Tipperary song. He was barely getting into his cleaning when the sound of someone coughing snapped the poor blond back to reality.

Not five feet away, an angel stood. Cloud blushed bright red when the brunet from the inspecting group raised an eyebrow at him, and hastily stood to attention. Why, why, why, why? Didn't the senior soldiers have their own showers? Cloud was pretty damn sure he had heard Zack address this guy as a General.

"S-sir?" He asked, fighting the urge to cover himself.

The General looked torn. He looked a bit pissed off too, but Cloud tried to ignore the way his frown made his scar wrinkle up adorably. _Wow that was a weird thought_.

It wouldn't be very professional to swoon at his commanding officer. Besides, he was a man damn it! Not a fifteen-year-old girl. God he needed to get a hold of himself.

All thoughts of pulling himself together and acting with respect abruptly flew out of the window as the brunet started to unbutton his jacket. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The blond demanded, respect be damned.

The General looked shocked at his outburst, but Cloud stubbornly refused to apologise. Well, come on, he couldn't just start _stripping_ in front of his men. What did he expect? Jesus. "I'm taking a shower. What does it look like I'm doing?"

He had the nerve to sound _amused_. Cloud stayed silent and returned to his washing, splashing cold water over his face to calm the redness there. If he stayed quiet, he couldn't say anything stupid. "Don't you have your own showers, sir?" Well, he curiosity got the better of him.

"Leon Leonheart." The blond frowned in confusion, looking at the brunet out of the corner of his eye.

"Excuse me?" He asked. Was that some kind of code?

"My name," The General – Leon – held out a hand, "no need to be too formal when no one's around." Cloud stared dumbly for a moment before hastily taking the offered hand in his own.

"I'm Cloud. Cloud Strife." He retracted his tingling hand after a second and tried to return to his washing. _Tried_. Leon was still getting undressed.

"Yes, we do have our own showers, but I don't really like them. I thought all the cadets would be back in the barracks by now, so these showers are normally empty. Never thought I'd find _you_ here." Leon sounded amused, like he had told some kind of secret joke. Cloud wanted to ask what was so funny about _him_, but couldn't shake off the fact that the brunet was still his superior – his extremely good-looking, incredibly _naked_ superior.

Oh shit.

Cloud suddenly found it very, very hard to breathe. He forced his hands to go about cleaning his hair, not putting an ounce of thought into the motion. All his poor tired brain was trying to do was _not look._

_Don't look. It's not worth it. It's __**really**__ not worth it. Do you want to be labelled as gay? Well you are… but that's not the point! You might be ridiculed… Keep __**some**__ of your dignity Cloud Strife!_

Topaz eyes couldn't help but flick in the general direction of the brunet's chest.

NO. Oh God… he's got muscles. They're not insanely huge guns, they just look bloody perfect on him. And they're **flexing. **Holy**. **Shit**.** Leon had just started up the shower next to Cloud and stepped under the stream of water. Christ he's wet. The blond was starting to seriously work himself up, despite his attempts not to. Oh sod it! He won't notice.

With his newfound courage, Cloud risked another glance at Leon. The General was preoccupied with washing himself, so thankfully he didn't notice. Dear Lord, the way those stomach muscles flexed under his skin was mesmerising. The blond let his eyes drink in the image, his face flushing slightly even under the gushing water.

Thankfully, the cold water did stop any more prominent problems from coming into play.

Cloud ripped his eyes away from his superior before the other noticed him. "I don't like showering with others…" He muttered, to distract himself from gawping at the brunet.

Leon blinked at him blankly, apparently being pulled back from his own thoughts. "You don't…" He mimicked. He frowned, "what?"

The blond couldn't help the small smirk that flitted across his lips at the General's face. "In answer to what you said before, about my being here. I mean, I really didn't like the prospect of showering with a whole bunch of other people, even if they are men." Especially if they're men, he mentally corrected.

That seemed to bring Leon back to reality. "O-oh. Well, I apologi-"

"No, no!" Cloud, realising what he said, quickly protested. "I don't mean you." Leon raised an eyebrow, both at being interrupted and at the blondes words, "Well, it's just you. So… well, it's ok isn't it?" Cloud knew he was making no sense, but it couldn't find the word's to explain without sounding painfully gay and terrifying the crap out of his superior.

He grimaced. "I'm making no sense, sorry."

Leon chuckled, going back to his hair. "No, you're not." He smirked, and Cloud melted. "It doesn't matter though, I seem to have that effect on people."

A fine blond eyebrow was raised, "effect?"

The brunet just shook his head, his smirk turning into something that wasn't quite a grin, but was pretty damn close. "Doesn't matter."

Cloud sadly realised that he was perfectly clean. His reason for staying in the strangely casual presence of the General was gone. The thought depressed him, making him let out a long sigh. He wouldn't have another chance like this one to be so informal with Leon. Once he left this room, it would be back to 'sir' and 'General Leonheart'.

With a pout, Cloud turned off his shower and slumped over to his pile of clothes. They were all dirty, so he settled with quickly drying himself and wrapping his towel around his waist. He hoped he could find the dorms quickly because it was freaking cold damn it.

When Cloud turned around with his arms full of clothes, he caught an eyeful of Leon's arse. He started chocking on air. The brunet turned sharply at the sound, but the blond just waved at him to make him stay the fuck back before he got himself raped.

After getting over his little attack and cursing himself silently for being so pathetic, Cloud started edging awkwardly towards the door. "Erm… Well, I should go before I manage to kill myself. It was… nice showering with you I guess, s- Leon. Bye." He gave a small wave, and promptly bolted for the door.

Ok. This was bad. As he sprinted in the direction that might have been leading him to his dorms, Cloud decided that he really needed to revaluate his own self-control. One more second in that shower and things might have started to get nasty.

Oh hell. General Leonheart wasn't even gay!  


* * *

Ending noteageeeness-

R&R if you would please, and if you have questions and such please ask :D


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